Eurotripping for Free: A Utopian Story for Europe Day
Could life be any better? It’s May 9th – Europe Day! In commemoration of the Schuman Declaration of 1950, the greatest declaration of all, all Europeans come together today to celebrate the monumental success this common project, the European Union, has been.
As a true European, I have never really understood why there are so many people who refuse to be happy with this new world (and still consider themselves as German, French, or Italian). Just look at me as proof of what it means to be interconnected with everyone on the continent.
After having spent the last three terms as an Erasmus exchange student in several countries – why study at home, if you can simply travel around Europe, all financed by our grateful lords in Brussels (the concept of “home” is so out-of-date anyway)? I have now decided to simply go by train, visiting all the beautiful places of this Continent, which after having finally escaped the Dark Ages of the past, is as peaceful as ever before.
Yesterday I was in Barcelona, and after having passed Andorra, I stayed in Paris. Today, I’m in the south of Germany, after having caught a glimpse at Strasbourg, the city where our honorable representatives make the important decisions for us in the European Parliament day-in, day-out.
Where I will go next? I have no idea. I could go everywhere I want for free with my new Interrail pass the Commission is handing out.
What are Interrail passes, you ask? One of the greatest ideas in the world, coming straight out of Brussels, where all good ideas come from! With Interrail passes young people like me can travel through Europe for free – yes, for free!
As long as you are 18 years old and get accepted to this phenomenal program, you are allowed to just ride the train whenever and wherever you want – as long as you visit a European Heritage Site in each country and post a picture to your social media accounts, telling the world the Truth: that Europe is great (what could be easier than that)!
All of this happened thanks to Manfred Weber, the Chairman of the European People’s Party, who actually made this program happen, despite the loud arguments coming from those racists, white supremacists, misogynists, fascists, and let’s be honest, crypto-Nazis who called this proposal out.
Overall, so many people still don’t seem to understand the glories of the European project. Just take the Interrail passes for instance: my dad, who has always been thinking a bit backwards, is constantly telling me that this program should be abolished, because it’s the working people paying for my train tickets.
He says that some, like him, have to pay for this “redistribution,” as he calls it, while money is thrown down my throat. I always answer that he almost sounds like those contrarians, who are always talking about how they don’t want to pay more into the EU, because they are already “net payers.” I say to dad: “There are no net payers. All of us are winning from Europe.” But he simply doesn’t get it. None of those contrarians get it. Gosh, how much I hate those contrarians who just don’t realize the glories of the European project …
Actually, I will probably go to Belgium now. I always wanted to go to Brussels and see how all of it works. I want to see the vital work the people in the Commission are doing. People are always saying that the employees in the Commission are parasites, since they are not elected, but are still allowed to decide on our lives. I think that’s exactly the way it should be: those in the Commission are the real experts, they know best what we need.
Maybe I will also go to Bruges. But no farther west. Across the pond is forbidden land. When the British – or, as we call them today, the Traitors – left our wonderful project, we said to ourselves: “Never cooperate with them again, as long as they don’t do it under our rules.” Then they just left! Today there are sometimes news saying that the economy of the Traitors is growing much faster than ours – but I don’t believe a word of these reports. Probably just contrarian sources – or even worse, fake news from Nigel Farage, Dan Hannan, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Syed Kamall and how all of them are called.
But let’s stop talking about the Traitors. They always make me cry out of frustration. Let’s instead celebrate this great holiday of ours: the day this great project was founded. In that sense: Happy Europe Day, my fellow Europeans!
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